i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You have to summon your inner elephant
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
