Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
