i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
