My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
