i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
