I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
