i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I smell like Dick and happiness
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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