I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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