he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize