So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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