your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
