Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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