We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize