I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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