in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
