i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
