I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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