Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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