Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
bring money and cleavage
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
