And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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