I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
