Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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