Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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