She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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