i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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