would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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