I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
