If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
