Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
