i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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