the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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