My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize