And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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