Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
