Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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