so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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