Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
