some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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