I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
