ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize