We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
