spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
