i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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