its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
