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Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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