Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
