smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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