im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
