So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm sobbing to NWA
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
