Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
