so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
