My Higher Power is John Stamos
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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