I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
