its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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