i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
