Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
