i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
