this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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