i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
