Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
