You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
