I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So squirting runs in the family.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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