So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I wish there were birth control emojis
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize