butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
