I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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