just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
