Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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