Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
