She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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