I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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