I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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